I came across this Instagram account this week.
Apparently the Instagram algorithm doesn’t know me at all ;) Side note, this is not a call out of the person who runs the account. It’s a call out of the culture that perpetuates the sad story she writes above. Her entire account is built around the glories of CHOOSING to have just one child. ie: she gets plenty of sleep (slightly jealous,) can spend her money how she wants, the list goes on.
And the truth is, I can’t fault her. Because aren’t we incessantly inundated with this messaging?
She writes that she must choose between another child and a non toxic lifestyle.
She’s not actually completely wrong here. Life is full of choices. Having more children is inherently more expensive, although nowhere near what they tell us it is.
The part that she’s missing? The incredible value of a human soul. It’s a value that’s been lost amidst a nationwide reduction of children to possessions. Somehow, slowly, then all at once, a country built on the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, has forgotten what those things mean. Oh those rights still exist. For some. But not for all. Not for children.
Many of us don’t remember a country before abortion was legal.
Undeniably, the culture we live in touches us. This doesn’t HAVE to be bad. For instance, the return of home birth to mainstream has changed my life for the better. However, I bet if we all took a few moments, we can see where negative cultural norms have influenced us. I know I’ve discovered more of those influences than I’d like to admit.
When it comes to abortion, the progression of its proponents has been from “safe, legal and rare” to the “shout your abortion” movement. Children are children when they are wanted. When the time is right. When they’re convenient. When they hit a certain threshold (heartbeat, etc.)
Like all accepted evil, the slippery slope is inevitable.
First, those principles applied only to the unborn. Now? Now they apply to all stages of life. If it’s more convenient to buy non toxic products than give life to an irreplaceable soul? Well then, who are we to question such a thing.
Please don’t hear what I’m not saying.
If you’re a family who has legitimate reasons for avoiding, who suffers from infertility, secondary infertility, etc. this of course is not a condemnation.
Instead, it’s simply a sadness. A sadness for the millions of women in America who have been sold a lie that children are commodities. A sadness for children who are growing up without siblings because of a choice to give them all of the things money can buy, instead of the ones that money can’t.
But it has to be more than sadness. We have to turn that sadness into action to show the world what they’re missing. We don’t have to have children to do this, and my goodness it can be done in the small things.
In what we say: Don’t say things like, “Oh wow, another one??” and, “You’ve sure got your hands full!” Or my personal current favorite (purely hypothetical of course ;) “you’ll have a boy and a girl now, are you guys done?”
In how we act: If you do have children, be joyful parents. This is something I’m working hard at, because if anyone tells you parenthood is for the faint of heart, they’re lying. There are too many times when I know I’ve looked and acted the part of exhausted and stressed out mom, and I only have one on the outside. But I’m slowly getting there, because my goodness, when I think of the sheer JOY he has brought to my life? How can I not share that with the world?
I’m sure you can come up with a million other ways to celebrate life in every day situations.
If changing hearts is truly the way to changing the way we view the commodification of children, then let’s ALL be a part of breaking the narrative. Forget about picketing in front of abortion clinics if that’s not your stage in life. Just simply BE unapologetically joyful about life, and watch the world change!
Excellent reminder about being JOYFUL parents
Just returned home from a visit with my four grandchildren ages 9 months to 6 years. It was so much fun to be with them and read, play, bike, etc. together. Children are such a joy! My youngest son, age 18, was there to be a fun uncle to his oldest brother’s kids. Thank you for writing on this important topic. I feel genuinely sad for that mom who would rather have things over children.